Mental Health and the Holidays: Giving Yourself Permission to Feel

The holidays are often painted as a time of joy, celebration, and togetherness. But for many people, this season can also bring stress, overwhelm, grief, loneliness, or emotional fatigue. If the holidays feel heavy for you, you’re not alone—and there’s nothing wrong with you for feeling that way.

Between busy schedules, financial pressures, family dynamics, and the pressure to “be happy,” it’s easy for mental health to take a back seat. Add shorter days, colder weather, and less routine, and it’s no surprise that anxiety and low mood can feel more intense during this time of year.

The Pressure to Be Merry

One of the biggest challenges of the holiday season is the unspoken expectation that everyone should feel joyful. Social media, advertisements, and traditions often show a picture-perfect version of the holidays, which can make it harder when your reality doesn’t match that image. Comparing your inner experience to someone else’s highlight reel can deepen feelings of isolation or inadequacy.

It’s important to remember: you don’t owe anyone happiness. Your feelings are valid, even if they don’t look festive.

Navigating Grief and Loss

For those who have experienced loss—whether of a loved one, a relationship, or even a sense of normalcy—the holidays can intensify grief. Traditions may feel different, memories may surface unexpectedly, and emotions can come in waves.

Allow yourself to grieve in whatever way feels right. There is no timeline for healing, and it’s okay to honour your emotions while still participating in the season in ways that feel manageable.

Supporting Your Mental Well-Being

While you can’t eliminate all holiday stress, there are gentle ways to support your mental health:

Set boundaries: It’s okay to say no to events or traditions that feel draining.
Keep expectations realistic: Not everything has to be perfect.
Stay connected: Reach out to someone you trust.
Maintain simple routines: Regular meals, movement, and sleep can help.
Make space for rest: Rest is not laziness—it’s necessary.

Redefining the Holidays

The holidays don’t have to be about doing more or being more. They can be about slowing down, finding moments of comfort, and creating meaning that feels personal to you.

When to Reach for Extra Support

If feelings of anxiety, sadness, or overwhelm feel persistent or unmanageable, reaching out for professional or community support can be an important step.

Local Support
CHMA Kelowna – Counselling + Mental Health Associates
A trusted local resource offering counselling and mental health support in the Kelowna area.

National Support & Resources
The Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA) offers trusted information, tools, and mental health resources for individuals and families:

Are you experiencing a mental health crisis?

If you or someone you know is in immediate crisis or has suicide-related concerns, help is available.

9-8-8 Suicide Crisis Helpline
9-8-8 is for anyone who is thinking about suicide or who is worried about someone they know. Connect with a trained responder for support without judgment.
Call or text 9-8-8, toll-free, anytime. Support is available in English and French.

Kids Help Phone
Support for children, youth, and young adults:

Call 1-800-668-6868 (24/7)
Text CONNECT to 686868
Live Chat: 7 p.m. to midnight ET
kidshelpphone.ca

A Gentle Reminder

This season, give yourself permission to feel exactly what you feel. You are not behind, broken, or failing if the holidays are hard. Taking care of your mental health is one of the most important gifts you can give yourself—and it’s one that lasts far beyond the season.

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